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Dearest Lynn

Yeah, I always kinda liked that picture.

Ay; a man say, "we might be a nation of thieves and murderers!..... but we can't tolerate no f***ing obscene language!" Talking about those arrests and ting nah,

So here I go again. I have to envy Anson. At least he apparently gets replies. And to think I got you started using email.. grunt growl. See! I was always more of a friend to you.

Sounds like we might have cleared up a little language misunderstanding today that must have been causing some confusion all along. Something to do with "going somewhere" or something to do with "relationship". Right now the only relationship we seem to have is a phone relationship talking about what the heck is going on with our relationship. I don't see our relationship going anywhere at all, not even towards friendship. It seems just stuck without gas. If you feel like going to visit my sister, let me know ok?

I remember once you said you'd like to invite me over to your house but only with your friends; or was it to go liming with your friends in Chaguanas? To me that's like when you said you were going to engrave the cups with our names; or like when we arranged to go see my mom on the Saturday then you arranged to go off to some comedy festival just like that at the drop of a hat! today you said you'd call me; shrug; wonder what that means; I for a long time don't worry with what you say; I more look at what you do.

Hey i just thought up of a joke!

One guy turns to a geek in a roomfull of computers and says "that guy over there is crazy... he sends email to himself!" The geek turns back and says "oh no that's normal around here; the real nut is that guy over there who replies back!"

Hey I haven't thought of a joke in years.

By the way, I remember you asked me something about is this the first time or something? I'm not sure I remember what it was in connection with. It's not the first time I fell in love with someone who I thought loved me too, it's the second. If I did fall in love with someone who loved me too, it would be a first. And no, I never made love; (well, unless you consider cunnillingus love, if that was the question.) And then there were a few thingies that I rather not even remember. But on that topic though, I have been wanting to let you know that with to regards to sexual relations, I really would rather not have any sexual relationship outside of marraige;;; (although in your case, I was feeling sometimes as if the two of us would not get anywhere unless I made an exception, but I feel now that I was wrong about that anyway.)

And you know, it strikes me as interesting how you patently refuse to acknowledge that even though I had been interested in you that you were all the time sending me mixed messages and that is why it seemed to you that I seemed to be not taking you on.

You keep repeating that "it was only when" you gave up on me that I became interested in you. That is not even true at all and you refuse to acknowledge it. I had been interested in you for a long time, but we were not getting anywhere; I was getting mixed messages from you; I was hearing one thing and seeing something else; you gave me all kinds of mixed feelings; at first I thought you liked me because I saw that you would come around and you would hold my hand ... but then I start seeing you holding on to man all over the place and I am rudely awakened to realising that I'm nothing special to you.

You know when I sit down and write all this stuff, it's mostly because I sit on my bed at nights you know, rocking as usual, and I'm thinking all kinds of stuff as if I'm talking to you. Come to think of it, that's about one-quarter way to madness isn't it! So anyway I end up with all this stuff inside my head and I need to get it out.

By the way, I want you to know that I hope things work out between you and Anson. [ok ok ok , that's the friend part and the other part of me hopes that things somehow work out between you and me instead.]

love

edy